What’s the gross domestic product at your house? Or should I say, the grossest?
Our grossest at tiny-house Melleray Farmstead, the cottage industrial campus of Piedmont Pine Coffins, has to do with a toothbrush. More on that below.
Visitors to the farmstead sometimes ask about hot water and bathing. The calculus behind the question is, Could I do this? Could I live off the grid in a tiny house? Yes, you could do it. There are some gross parts, but it’s not what you think.
Gross domestic product
You might think that the grossest part has to do with the outhouse. Or the sawdust toilets we use at night. Nope, these quickly become standard and unexciting features of daily life. You might think it’s something to do with the animals and their manure. Like the worms and bugs that infest piles of compost before it goes onto garden beds. No, compost smells good and you want to dig your hands into it. What about the wolf spiders? Yes, they freak me out. They’re big and they don’t mind coming inside without an invite to get warm during the winter. But no, they’re not the grossest.
The very grossest thing going, I happen to believe, is the cuspidor. You remember the doggerel sung to “Carmen?”
Toreador, don’t spit upon the floor, Use the cuspidor, that’s what it’s for
Yes, we have a cuspidor, i.e., a spittoon. We have one because there is no running water in the tiny houses of Melleray Farmstead for things like shaving, washing your hands, and brushing your teeth. We have instead a bowl-and-pitcher and spittoon. Our spittoon is a red five-gallon feed bucket. There you dump the water from washing your hands and there you spit the spit from brushing your teeth. When the cuspidor is getting full enough to worry about spills — say, after a couple of days — you chuck it out the back door into the woods. There’ll be no dental cavities in that patch of soil, I’ll warrant, nor in the squirrels who eat nuts there.
Into said spittoon, the kids have, more than once, dropped valuable things like phones, coins, and toothbrushes. Enough said.
What’s your gross…er…grossest domestic product?